Silence is Deafening [Open]

Beleth
Kairos Pack

I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me..

Posts: 70

OOC Name: Chili
Biography: http://anikira.com/thread/2252/mexican-kenai-arctic-beleth?page=1&scrollTo=8027
Date of Birth: March 1 2015
Gender: Male
Breed: Mixed Breed
Height: 48 inches
Weight: 221 pounds
Coat Color: Grey, Red, White
Eye Color: Seafoam Blue
Language: 2
Violence: 3
Sexual Content: 2

Silence is Deafening [Open] Mar 4, 2018 10:22:00 GMT -6

Post by Beleth on Mar 4, 2018 10:22:00 GMT -6

Lorem, ipsum, dolor
The silence was consuming. It was incredible just how slow time seemed to be passing these days and Beleth found that the loneliness was becoming more than he could bear. The brute had never been one to yearn for companionship but he found even now that that was what he was lacking and he truly yearned for it. It had put him in a foul mood. He moved across the dunes, muscles rolling as he took each stride. The sand dipping and disintegrating beneath the pressure of his body mass. Even Iscariot had grown uncharacteristically quiet the past couple of days. It was like he didn't even have the energy anymore to poke and prod at him. Everything was so strange and Beleth found that he hated it. It was a ghost town around here and it was almost as bad as when he had once been alone. His ice blue optics stared across the never ending expanse of sand dunes. Beleth never thought of himself to be one that would feel such loneliness but it was present and he felt hollow. Empty. He continued to walk, pacing as he traced the borders. Vor'asa was his home and though he was part of Kairos through and through this was the land that had been deemed his by his half brother. He was to watch over it, to ensure the safety of the land and everyone in it. But it seemed not many Kairos wolves frequented Vor'asa these days. Beleth had begun to wonder if they had all returned to the mainland or were scattered about. He didn't see much except for Vor'asa - he never left, bound to it by duty and heart.

Vor'asa held a special place for the behemoth. It was where he had become a full fledged Kairos resident, where he had become one with himself and learned all that he was capable of. It was where he had changed, had put the majority of his fears behind him. He would never allow anyone to take that from him. But even so he pulled his haunches beneath him, taking a seat as he stared into space. It was unnaturally quiet and he was disturbed. His hackles raised instinctively, he was truly unsettled. This was concerning to Beleth. Was he failing as a General? Was there a specific reason that Vor'asa was becoming..lost? It's getting to you isn't it? Beleth could almost breathe a sigh of relief, at last Iscariot spoke and for once he was happy about it. He didn't feel so alone anymore and at least he knew the voice hadn't left him completely. At least not yet. But he couldn't help but feel that eventually he would be gone too and then he would truly be alone.

Words: 482
Tagged: open
Notes: if anyone wants to thread with my lonely boy have at it

Last Edit: Mar 4, 2018 10:23:00 GMT -6 by Beleth

Kenai Dominant ▲ 4 years ▲ Kairos General
2/4 Threads Available

Goliath
Loner

Posts: 15
OOC Name: Zen
Biography: http://anikira.com/thread/3465/kenai-peninsula-arctic-wolf-goliath
Date of Birth: April 19th 2013
Gender: Male
Breed: Mixed Breed
Height: 52 in
Weight: 250 lb
Coat Color: Black, Brown, Grey, White
Eye Color: Blue
Language: 2
Violence: 2
Sexual Content: 2

Silence is Deafening [Open] Mar 10, 2018 1:43:53 GMT -6

Post by Goliath on Mar 10, 2018 1:43:53 GMT -6

HOVER

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[attr="class","pltxt"]Goliath was a brute who disdained trespassers without a cause – and yet, as one treacherous step lead to the next over claimed soil, he gave in to hypocrisy and continued in his pursuit to nowhere.

It was not defiance that drove him – in truth, he hoped to slip through the dunes unnoticed and unseen. There and gone like a ghost, for returning to this place surely made him feel as though he were an apparition; power that had once been great was now intangible and buried deep below the sand like bones.

No, he was not here to incite hell or rebellion, but driven by an unpleasant itch that went by the name of boredom, or curiosity, or a wistful combination of self-loathing and melancholy. The pain of nostalgia was not unfamiliar to him, but it was not the sentiment he was feeling now. There was no strange peace in returning to a place that had once been a home to him. In that time it had felt more a weight on his back than a sanctum he found refuge in. Now, it was a place of quiet intrigue, no longer worthy of absolute avoidance. He was not here to experience bittersweet closure with his fall from supremacy, but to enter a place without pride or dignity - with nothing - and walk away exempt from humiliation.

Crossing the border between Ale’ina and Vor’asa happened mostly by accident, as the scent markers were faint and the presence of Kairos spread thin. During his reign, Hyperion had claimed additional territories to the East, and though his fact did not surprise Goliath – after all, his own ambitions had been equally high in his youth – he found a dearth of activity as he wandered along the coast, crossing paths with little more than birds and vermin.

He did not expect to cross paths with anyone. He did not want to cross paths with anyone.

And so, when he saw a pale body flickering in the distance – the sand was still hot despite the weak winter sun, and cast the stranger’s shape askew – he had one of two choices. Turn heel and walk away, and risk being pursued by a larger party in the days following, or meet with the resident wolf and be chased off then and there. He knew how Kairos worked. He would gain a few scars, but at the very least it would be done with, and perhaps the news of a rogue would not even make its way back to Ina’mos if the wolf did not recognise him. Goliath clung to the hope that it would be some new recruit or young gladiator who wouldn’t know him by anything other than an old name.

The sand submitted easily to his weight, making his amble across it less than graceful, and the wind was cutting and arid, burning his vision, though his nose recognised the stranger’s scent and the revelation that struck him was visceral.
“Shit.” The sound was little more than a rasp, his lips dry. His vocal chords strained to work after days of disuse. He sounded foreign, even to his own ears. It was hard to imagine that a voice could sound both hard and soft in the same breath, but as he uttered his son’s name it was easy to hear the word came from a conflicted place inside him.

“Beleth.”

Immediately, Goliath abandoned the hope that he would not be recognised, for it would be foolish to believe the other brute would see anything but his own father staring back at him, even after such an extended absence. He had no idea what he should hope for now. Leniency for trespassing?

No. He did not want that.

Against his better judgement, he did not lower his head as a sign of peace, or cast his eyes down in submission. Though he showed no outward sign of aggression, a wise intruder would show their belly as an act of contrition, and he chose to instead leave the threat of danger hanging between them. Goliath knew he was not supposed to be here, and he wanted no pardon for it. He had never sought forgiveness for even the worst of his faults, of which there were many. He would not start today.

//OOC//
Words: 711
Tags: @beleth
Notes: Read your post and suddenly got struck by muse, hope you don't mind!

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Last Edit: Mar 10, 2018 1:44:31 GMT -6 by Goliath

Beleth
Kairos Pack

I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me..

Posts: 70

OOC Name: Chili
Biography: http://anikira.com/thread/2252/mexican-kenai-arctic-beleth?page=1&scrollTo=8027
Date of Birth: March 1 2015
Gender: Male
Breed: Mixed Breed
Height: 48 inches
Weight: 221 pounds
Coat Color: Grey, Red, White
Eye Color: Seafoam Blue
Language: 2
Violence: 3
Sexual Content: 2

Silence is Deafening [Open] Mar 14, 2018 14:56:16 GMT -6

Post by Beleth on Mar 14, 2018 14:56:16 GMT -6

Lorem, ipsum, dolor
This was his domain, this was his quiet place. He enjoyed the solace, the serenity that came with being alone. He didn't have to go out of his way to be social and he was thankful for that much. Hyperion had thought well about placing him here. Needless to say though Beleth still strives for companionship like any other mongrel, but today was a different day in all of its entirety. He could feel a different aura in the air around him, perhaps it was because he had been alone for so long. But needless to say the environment had changed. He could sense a presence and he was quick to listen to his instincts. Massive form moved across the burning sand - Beleth knew this place like the back of his own paw. The sand shifted and groaned beneath his weight but he was surprisingly quiet despite his larger stature. As his form piqued over the horizon he caught a familiar shape. At first there was no telling whether his mind was playing tricks on him or not. It was plenty hot out and he hadn't had contact with another in quite some time, but for him to conjure up the lost form of his father was laughable. Beleth had long since allowed that ship to sail, he didn't need a father figure and had turned out just fine on his own as had the rest of his siblings. He supposed Sabaoth was as much of a father figure as he had gotten in his young life, but either way as Beleth moved closer he only recognized the form that solidified before his very eyes. Goliath. He practically sneered in response, the stoic brute almost amused by the presence of his so-called "father." ~~Shit. Beleth.~~ An ear barely twitched in response to his name being spoken, he was surprised that his father had even recognized him, after all it had been quite a bit of time since he had even seen the brute let alone spoken to him.

Either way this meeting wasn't meant to be pleasant or carefree. This intruder was trespassing. Goliath had lost his kingdom long ago and now Hyperion ruled these lands. Beleth was placed here as an insurance policy and he certainly wasn't going to allow Goliath to go waltzing through their home, not his. "You were presumed dead, I suppose the rumors were incorrect because here you are." His words were vague and devoid of any emotion. Perhaps Beleth had once cared about the individual that stood before him but if Goliath had ever taught him anything it was that emotions were a weakness and you weren't meant to have them. So in turn Beleth held only one emotion in reserve for this wolf - hatred. He blamed him for Datura's death. Had he not been so intent on becoming a God perhaps she would still be alive to this very day. But alas she was not and yet here he stood, scarred and indifferent. His posture was not submissive nor was it challenging but his presence alone was a trigger for the ivory brute. And he was trespassing. "There is nothing for you here." His words were blunt but laced within them was a warning. Leave or I'll make you. Ice cold optics were pinned on his frame, every muscle taunt beneath his pelt. He wasn't a boy any longer and he would not hesitate in protecting his home. He had made a promise to Hyperion that he would watch over Vor'asa and he intended to keep that promise. So there was no hesitation that came from the brute, instead only action was presented. A snarl rippled from his throat, a deep gurgling sound as he launched himself forward. Every muscle pulled and released like a well-oiled machine, jaws were spread wide to reveal sharpened canines aching for a taste of fresh crimson. He showed zero hesitation or fear and instead aimed to grab hold of his father's neck, in turn he kept his head tucked just slightly to protect his own throat. If his attack proved successful he would grab hold and rip, intending on creating as large of a laceration as his jaws would provide. Beleth was the prime example of what a son of Goliath should be and perhaps had this been a completely different scenario Goliath might have been proud of him. Beleth was unforgiving and even now his trespassing would not be taken lightly.

Words: 745
Tagged: Goliath
Notes: Holy muse explosion thank you zenny lol so brief run down Beleth has charged Goliath, attempting to grab hold of his neck/scruff and if he's successful he'll be ripping it xD

Last Edit: Mar 14, 2018 14:58:20 GMT -6 by Beleth

Kenai Dominant ▲ 4 years ▲ Kairos General
2/4 Threads Available

Goliath
Loner

Posts: 15
OOC Name: Zen
Biography: http://anikira.com/thread/3465/kenai-peninsula-arctic-wolf-goliath
Date of Birth: April 19th 2013
Gender: Male
Breed: Mixed Breed
Height: 52 in
Weight: 250 lb
Coat Color: Black, Brown, Grey, White
Eye Color: Blue
Language: 2
Violence: 2
Sexual Content: 2

Silence is Deafening [Open] Mar 29, 2018 13:29:04 GMT -6

Post by Goliath on Mar 29, 2018 13:29:04 GMT -6

HOVER

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[attr="class","pltxt"]In the moment their eyes met, the immediate dislike emanating from Beleth was palpable – the hardening of his brow, the scarcely-there twist of a scowl on his maw, almost gone unseen had the older brute not been intently seeking out the signs of aggression phasing across his body. The momentary disbelief had absconded as Beleth’s hatred manifested from non-verbal to verbal, his lax voice painting a garish sense of loathing. “You were presumed dead, I suppose the rumours were incorrect because here you are.”

Goliath said nothing, deliberating over the boy’s empty tone as he pointed out the obvious. Though disappointed by the banality of the statement, his interest roused at what the other was attempting to convey. He felt Beleth was fighting to maintain apathy at his presence, as though proving indifference towards him meant winning some internal, unspoken war. It was a fight he was losing in the most spectacular of ways. Though he tried his damnedest to keep his voice level, the pale brute reeked of disdain, which belied a world of belligerence beneath the listless words he uttered. Goliath saw through his indignation, his cold unconcern, and what he saw underneath was a curious thing indeed.
Passion and poison. Fire and fury. Hatred and harm. All hidden behind ice-cold irises that refused to give him more than one sincere flicker of attention.

The silence that fell between them was so stark and real it felt like a physical wall separating his world from his son’s. Still, he had no response on his tongue, as he felt no need to justify what the other brute had said. Indeed, he was alive, and whatever rumours Kairos had conjured upon his departure were false - though every scandal had its fair share of sensationalism, and this one amused him greatly.

The younger brute’s words were blunt and uncaring, forced through teeth that seemed to be on the precipice of a snarl. “There is nothing for you here-”

“I disagree,” came the deep pitch of Goliath’s voice, uttered in some disparaging tone that overrode his son’s words altogether, not even waiting for the brute to finish his sentence. “There are rocks. Sand. Dust that I once valued more than my own life. There are stories, forgotten, but if I can just- just-”

Remember them, it will all mean something.

He stopped talking. It would all be meaningless to the boy, his words semantically lost. He could not explain it. His mind was a hive of thoughts battering from one neuron to the next, all fighting over one another to be spoken. To be brought into life.

There was not nothing – there couldn’t be. Beleth was wrong.

There was so much. Too much, all around them. There was the hot sky and the shore of Vor’asa that had made him feel like he owned the world in his younger days. There was the heat from above and the cool cut of wind sweeping between crevices and dunes. There were memories and lessons here, some more hard-learned and regrettable than others. There was blood far down below them, dead things that had suffered slow deaths. His hopes and dreams had died here, too. Right here. A heart that days not long-past had beat beneath this land, now remained lifeless and buried below years of grit and dirt. Scoured by the sun and wind, it rotted. This land had once belonged to him – and now he belonged to no land, had power over nothing, not a speck of dirt to his name. He would be damned if he let all of that suddenly mean nothing. It meant everything, and would continue to mean everything long after he was chased from there.

Goliath’s eyes lifted, suddenly aware of himself, and his stare settled on the whitish form before him. Beleth’s thick fur was ashen, reflecting the sun’s light like a beacon, likely bearing the heat well. Goliath’s coat was dark, and hot under the bright sun, and he would openly admit that this was a great discomfort in this moment of silent contemplation. A grizzled frown soured his expression. He exhaled a short breath, large mouth expelling saliva and heat, and his enormous ribcage deflated he spoke again.
“And there is you. You are not nothing.”

Perhaps it would sound despondent or sentimental to the other wolf, though the intention was quite the opposite. Beleth wished to disconnect himself from him, from his bloodline, and he refused to simply shrug it off without imparting an understanding of the weight behind his words.

Beleth’s fierce snarl announced his oncoming attack, which gave him a moment of warning to decide how he would react. It was his nature to fight – a nature he had imparted into his many sons – but now was not the time to give in to his baser temper. Now was the time to pause.

And so he paused. Inhaled. Thought briefly over the choices that lay before him. Goliath had never backed down from a fight in his life, more often than not being the instigator and perpetrator of his own misery, but today was the first notable exception where he willed himself into passivity, for his own sake. Retaliating whilst trespassing was an entirely different crime all of its own, and though he favoured the odds against Beleth due to the younger wolf’s comparative inexperience, he did not favour the odds of an entire Kairos army hunting him down as retribution.

He was not a fool any more, and had come to accept his mortality as a fact of life. He had accepted this shameful truth long ago.

It was decided. Blackened claws sunk deep into the sand, anchoring his weight. His hulking form had never allowed for agility, too muscle-laden to manoeuvre his enormous size with any measure of grace or speed, and so he had come to rely on sheer strength to fend for himself. In this instance, it felt wholly unnatural for Goliath to move against his brute nature, but nevertheless he found himself resisting the urge to retaliate. His gums itched and his teeth burned to snap open in offense, but the desire was quelled immediately. This time, he would be different.

Instead of launching himself with sheer force at his aggressor, he pinned his ears and tucked his chin over his neck to protect the fleshy part of his throat, and simply waited for what he knew what to come. He accepted Beleth’s attack with a slight turn of his body, the sand sinking swiftly beneath them as the dispersion of weight disturbed their balance. The hot-sharp sensation of his skin being pierced by fangs, and the clash of bone on bone as the offending wolf’s jaws connected with his scapula, left his mouth gaping in a silent groan. He suffered for a single moment of inaction, and though Beleth attempted to rear his head and tear his throat from his body, he had failed to attach himself to anything vital beyond skin and fur, instead ripping open the lateral surface of his shoulder with a smattering of blood upon the sand, before his own momentum caused him to release.

It was an odd thing, opting out of a fight and simply accepting the harm like an open embrace. Any onlooker would have been tremendously confused to witness the first few moments of battle, though the clash was over before it had barely begun. When Beleth snarled and announced his first oncoming attack, Goliath chose to do nothing. When the younger wolf threw himself at his father, teeth gnashing and spittle flying, he chose to do nothing. Even when he felt the sharp agony of teeth pressing into his skin, he did nothing, and invited the pain with little more than a grinding bark of laughter from behind closed teeth, and it gave him a wild feeling of liberation. It hurt. It felt fucking good. It felt like home.

Goliath stumbled backwards, an indignant chuckle still reverberating from his open mouth, a stream of blood trickling down his shoulder to his paw. The wind was hot and cold on the wound, burning and cooling it as the gash began to turn sticky from the heat. Though Beleth’s body was immediately on the defensive, ears and throat protected in readiness for an oncoming reprisal from his father, Goliath reacted by putting as much space between them as he could in the following instant, refusing to allow the fight to continue. He had already killed one son - harming more without due cause was senseless, and something that even he deemed barbarous and wasteful. Beyond that, it was not the place for it – If he retaliated in likeness, it could well be the end of him, and he was not prepared to offer his life for the glory of Kairos' legions just yet.

“I’m not fighting in the sand. That shit gets everywhere.” Goliath had to lower his tone to stop himself from cackling, the exchange of teeth and his refusal to spar with his son suddenly becoming less funny as his injury smarted in the air. His voice was remarkably flippant, considering the wound he had freshly attained, and the dull pain he was in. Goliath turned his deadpan gaze at Beleth, carefully watching to see if he would attempt another assault.

“I will leave here, when I’m good and ready – which will probably be soon, thanks to you,” he muttered, rolling his shoulder to test the extent of the injury. His mouth turned down into a wince as the movement caused a spike of pain along his withers, though he had sustained worse and lived through it. The scars he bore from Erebos’ fatal encounter still troubled him, burning whenever he spoke or moved his face, and itching even whenever he did not. He was accustom to living in discomfort, and it did not aggrieve him. Physical pain was a reminder of his body’s determination to survive. And survive, he would.

Goliath moved aside a pace or two, able to put his weight on all four paws without limping. He at least could maintain dignity in his retreat. As he glanced at Beleth, all discomfort from his face vanishing, his tone became lax and almost conversational. “Life’s too short to lack common sense, so I will not fight on Kairos land. That’s not why I came here. But go ahead, if you are a champion of the cause, cut down a wolf who refuses to defend himself. Then I will know you are truly my son.”

Goliath could not be sure if Beleth hated him, though the essence of hatred did not spurn him. Hatred was a fine thing, if properly reigned. It could set one to purpose and drive a being to succeed. Perhaps his son could find motivation in his loathing. He himself had created Kairos out of hatred, out of grief and to replace what he had lost and could never find alone. Ultimately, hatred only led him so far, and created an incomplete world that he found no satisfaction in. It was a means to an end, but not a fulfilling one.

He bore no hatred now; no ill-will or all consuming loathing for anything, and he was better for it. It seemed the same could not be said for Beleth, who churned with contempt at his mere presence. It was not sad to think that his son was no better than him – it only perpetuated his lack of interest in kinship. There was no betterment from family, only an unbreaking cycle of disharmony that carried itself from one generation to the next. If Datura had been alive to witness the exchange between father and son, she would have been sickened, knowing her headstrong belief in loyalty and allegiance. But therein lay the essence of the matter. She was not alive, and it hurt them both in varying degrees. The damage was done, and all that could be said for it in the end was that sorrow was simply the natural order of things.

It did not make it any easier.

Goliath was unsure of how to proceed from here, and the uncertainty of it disturbed him. He was undeniably out of his element, opting for civility over barbarity. His life had been a disordered warpath of doing and saying whatever he pleased, and yet now, humility and wariness was required to move forward. He was not incapable of it, despite how unnatural the softened tone sounded from his gruff vocals. “It seems not much remains to be said. At least, not on my part.”

And that was it – as close to an admission of fault as he could muster, and all that Beleth would get from him, even if his son pushed for more. His words invited the other brute to speak candidly, be it in the form of confrontation or argument, he did not care. He simply wished for no more of his own blood to be shed. Goliath’s stance hardened, prepared to move out of harm’s way if the opposing wolf again chose aggression instead of words, which would bring their encounter to a timely ending. He had allowed Beleth one unobstructed attack, a reprisal the young wolf sorely deserved, but would stand for no more.

If the other brute required closure beyond the blood he had offered, it would have to be for another time, where the soil was not tainted by his countless feats and failures, and memories that had long passed their worth.

//OOC//
Words: 2266
Tags: Beleth
Notes: Here's a super long post to make up for the super long wait!! From here Beleth can either engage in what I presume will be an angst-driven d&m with daddy dearest, or pursue him for another attack (the latter will cause Goliath to retreat in his next post). It is up to you. :3

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Last Edit: Mar 29, 2018 13:35:46 GMT -6 by Goliath

Beleth
Kairos Pack

I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me..

Posts: 70

OOC Name: Chili
Biography: http://anikira.com/thread/2252/mexican-kenai-arctic-beleth?page=1&scrollTo=8027
Date of Birth: March 1 2015
Gender: Male
Breed: Mixed Breed
Height: 48 inches
Weight: 221 pounds
Coat Color: Grey, Red, White
Eye Color: Seafoam Blue
Language: 2
Violence: 3
Sexual Content: 2

Silence is Deafening [Open] Mar 31, 2018 20:48:13 GMT -6

Post by Beleth on Mar 31, 2018 20:48:13 GMT -6

Lorem, ipsum, dolor

~~I disagree, There are rocks. Sand. Dust that I once valued more than my own life. There are stories, forgotten, but if I can just- just- And there is you. You are not nothing.~~ Beleth didn't want to talk, he didn't want to listen to his father try to come up with more excuses. There was nothing here for him! It only fueled his anger further, perhaps it had been foolish that he had snarled aloud but his fury was like a double edged sword eating him up inside. He needed to unleash it. His teeth found purchase on his father's fleshy skin but nothing fundamental was taken. He still was able to rip and he was satisfied in knowing that he had been able to do something to him. But as he turned in the hot sand, his father's blood singing against his tongue, he could see that there was no return attack. Goliath stood, staring, and Beleth froze. It was foolish, he was leaving himself open to an attack, but he knew anyone with eyes could see that Goliath had no intentions of fighting. So just what the hell was he here for then? I’m not fighting in the sand. That shit gets everywhere. I will leave here, when I’m good and ready – which will probably be soon, thanks to you, Life’s too short to lack common sense, so I will not fight on Kairos land. That’s not why I came here. But go ahead, if you are a champion of the cause, cut down a wolf who refuses to defend himself. Then I will know you are truly my son. Beleth found that his muscles ached for it, his body yearned to fight the wolf that had sired him. But he couldn't move. It was like he was a child again, his mind filling with images of when he and his brothers once sparred with Goliath. He had never been good enough to best him then and he wasn't good enough to do it now. He had failed. He was not enough. Ears pinned as his gaze dropped to the hot sand, his father's words echoed in his mind and he found that there was nothing that he knew to speak in response. He didn't know what to say, what could he say? That he had wished he had been there more? That he wished he hadn't left him behind? That he felt guilty for allowing them to leave, for not thinking to speak up for once in his life? Beleth had always been the quiet one and even now he could not voice his opinions.

~~It seems not much remains to be said. At least, not on my part.~~ His hackles rose and though he knew it was his duty to expel any trespassers from Kairos lands he found that he could not remove Goliath. His one job that he was destined to do he could not do. "I can't." He spoke it in a snarl, angry with himself for failing once again. He had made a promise to Hyperion, that he would protect these lands and yet here he was and he could not force the one individual that had walked out of his life to leave once again. He was not a child and yet he felt as though he was. "Leave when you are ready then - do whatever the fuck you want." He spat the words, his hate spewing from his throat like hot lava. Finally his piercing blue gaze lifted to stare his demon directly in the eyes. "You've always been good at that. Doing whatever you want." It was true, the fierce Goliath had always done whatever the hell he deemed necessary. He knew that he had probably been deemed his weakest son simply by the fact that he couldn't follow through with kicking him out. He didn't have the strength to do it. Erebos had done a number on him, he on the other hand could barely find purchase upon his fur! Perhaps had he met Samson or even Typhon things would be a different story. But today he had met Beleth, he supposed it was Goliath's lucky day. Beleth turned then, his shoulder facing Goliath as he stared across the sand. "Why bother coming here..what do you want." He needed an answer, he needed to know what brought him back here. He had had no problems leaving them behind so why come back? What was so alluring this time? He didn't know what else to say to his father, they had never held a bond that most fathers and sons should bear - and so he felt lost and his only response to such a feeling was to close in on himself. He would not speak, he wouldn't dare to, he could not allow himself to be vulnerable to such emotions.

Words: 812
Tagged: Goliath
Notes: my soul weeps for this thread

Last Edit: Mar 31, 2018 20:49:59 GMT -6 by Beleth

Kenai Dominant ▲ 4 years ▲ Kairos General
2/4 Threads Available

Goliath
Loner

Posts: 15
OOC Name: Zen
Biography: http://anikira.com/thread/3465/kenai-peninsula-arctic-wolf-goliath
Date of Birth: April 19th 2013
Gender: Male
Breed: Mixed Breed
Height: 52 in
Weight: 250 lb
Coat Color: Black, Brown, Grey, White
Eye Color: Blue
Language: 2
Violence: 2
Sexual Content: 2

Silence is Deafening [Open] May 28, 2018 9:22:56 GMT -6

Post by Goliath on May 28, 2018 9:22:56 GMT -6

HOVER

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[attr="class","pltxt"]It was oddly warming to see his son emotionally disintegrate before him. Beleth’s fury settled into desolation before sheer emptiness vanquished all remnants of sentiment from his eyes. In that way, they were similar – incapable of addressing their own emotions. Not even wanting to. Not even trying.

There was one moment where Beleth’s face twisted at the realisation of his own failure as he gave up his first and only attempt to bait his father into a fight, and the despairing glance was almost enough to cause Goliath heed the wolf’s warning. But the moment surely passed, and instead Beleth resigned himself to failing. He had been so close. Goliath exhaled, his face an impassive shield. It seemed they had let each other down, in their own ways.

It should have been cause for sadness, but evidently, he was incapable of such things.

"Leave when you are ready then - do whatever the fuck you want."

The words were spat in ire from the young wolf’s bared teeth, but Goliath’s heart did not flinch. His son’s hatred did not hurt him, nor deter his stare as his gaze roamed idly from his Beleth’s hackles to the flattened ears that foretold of the young brute’s uncertainty. As if he could not help himself, he continued.

"You've always been good at that. Doing whatever you want."

A wry lift of his brow was his outward response to the accusation, and without further thought he spoke. “If you scorn me for that - so be it. Were it any other way, Kairos would not exist and you would be nothing more than a twinkle in my nutsack.”

It was probably not the response Beleth was hoping for, but as a consolation, Goliath did not deny what Beleth said. It certainly would have looked that way from an outsider’s perspective, the great Emperor Goliath stomping his feet and invading lands to sate his greed, fucking anything that moved with gleeful jubilee. Doing what he wanted, when he wanted, without reason. It was an easy story to tell, and easier still to believe. Such things were half-truths sewn together in the eyes of a pup who wanted more love from his wayward father. Goliath knew he had failed the boy in some way, and deserved the hatred he was now receiving, but it was not such a black and white tale. He was a puppet to his madness, his mind held to ransom to a higher power for most of his days. He had paid the ultimate cost and was free now, despite being alone and despised.

It didn’t matter. In the end, Goliath knew that his choices had cost him his family, and their scorn was a just punishment for his abandonment. He accepted this. But there was a method to his madness – there always had been - and his reasons for everything he had done in his life made sense, albeit exclusively to him. He was free from Fenrir and that was all that mattered, now.

"Why bother coming here...what do you want."

Though Beleth’s tone was insistently bitter, this time there was no accusation, but a question behind his words. The younger wolf fell silent, listening. Perhaps for the first time in his life, someone was listening, even though it was from a stance of cold indifference.

“I doubt you would understand. My head’s in a different place. In another fucking world. But…” for just a moment, he paused to think. He could not rightfully accuse Beleth of not understanding, if he himself did not even try to explain. That would have been not only dismissive, but cowardice. There was a halfway point here, and he was on the precipice of walking away.

“If you listen as though I was a stranger, perhaps you will understand.”

“I created Kairos because I was afraid. Everything I have done is because I am afraid. I lost everything when I was young, when Ferus was destroyed. I would not let that happen again. And so I listened to the signs around me. All the gods had cursed me. All but one.

“And he helped me, buried thoughts in my head, ideas and seeds that would take root and tower within me. He said – promised - that safety would be found in power and greatness. And it was, for a time. I found your mother when I was a but a boy with no home, and feared I would lose her if I didn’t create something… terrifying, to have my own hold on the world. And then there was Kairos, and there was blood. But she was safe, and she loved me – this huge, terrible thing, and she loved me. And I… she was-“

Goliath felt reviled. His mind was a nauseous mess of upheaval, twisting and churning. But as the words came, he could not stop them – only stumble over them with a lack of clarity, as thoughts outpaced his tongue. He was quiet for a moment, and perhaps another, gaze sobering as chilled blue eyes honed upon his son. Ruefully, he spoke.

“She was not… good, you know. Or kind, or soft. But I didn’t want her to be. Your mother was utterly terrible in her sincerity, the depth of her love was dark and unfathomable. She was beautiful. Gods, but she was… she was…”

Everything. That was all he could think.

His thoughts were fast and nigh on impossible to catch, and even when he did, they fought with him. Refusing to submit, to be forged into sense. Raging like small, enormous intangible beasts. One came and then another. Fury and then sadness. And more after that. Memories that burnt like fire, like ice.

Then came another spiral of words when he eventually caught a grip of himself, more frantic than before.

“I kept listening to him. Fenrir spoke of the inadequacy in my achievements. I would fail. I would burn. I would still lose everything. So I pushed myself to break, made Kairos stronger at the expense of kinship, spread my blood further, knowing she would be with me. It did not matter if my sons and daughters loathed their absent father, and cursed my name, because she would never.”

Never. A strong word, an infinite word, and one he would stand by. She was the only one who would never, could never, hate him. To this day, he stood by it.

“I watched her die, stolen away by phantom sickness, the poison slowly taking her from me… and I could do nothing but watch, like I did as a pup in the beginning. All that power and greatness, and I could do nothing. And it was my own blood that did it. Fury was the only thing holding the pieces of me intact, and when that was gone, when I left Erebos drowning in a pool of himself, that was it. That was me. I lay with them both, and found that I was absent of… myself entirely.”

Shuddering, gasping, he relived the moments where Datura passed away, eyes overly wide and staring into his – and then Erebos, the strangling, gurgling sound as the boy’s laughter cut off his airways. His boy. His son.

What had been the point of it - any of it? All that his efforts had wrought was the assured destruction of his own bloodline, infested with madness, that undoubtedly lived in each and every one of his children. Even in Beleth, silent and ever watchful, a quiet creature - there must have lived some dark and unforgiving insanity, waiting to perpetuate the miserable cycle of his family’s curse. They were all fucked, doomed in some way or another. And he was the sole progenitor of it all.

He realised he had paused for an unnaturally long time, and his body was swaying unceremoniously as he mentally regressed into the worst of his memories. But the heat and tangibility of the wind struck him and brought him back to the very real, very uncomfortable moment he was now dwelling in. With a grim expression he continued, frustrated but wanting to draw closer to his conclusion.

“When I returned to Ina’mos without her, nothing was the same. It couldn’t be. I tried to start over, more than you know. I could not replace your mother, but I could replace myself – forge the Emperor to be someone new, with a singular devotion. There was Messoria, good and pure, who was more than my decrepit heart deserved. She could fix me. But – no, she could not. Nothing would, or will. I am sick, I think. It is… Too far gone.”

It did not take him long after that to be ousted from Kairos, a shambling mess too fucked in the head to even bother putting up a fight. There was no place for him there, or anywhere, in fact. But it had been a year now, and the scar of it all still gaped as though the blood was fresh, and it burned anew whenever those thoughts dwelled like insidious thorns beneath his skin. He could not leave things the way they were – frayed edges and incomplete endings. Unspoken words. There was no moving on if he did not know for certain where his heart stood.

“So, I am here, walking in the light of my failures like a damned blind man seeing for the first time, no longer huddling to the shadows wishing to be forgotten. Returning to the place of my folly to see with my own eyes, what vestiges of myself remain here.”

Goliath was pacing now, laying himself bare. He had released it, all of it; the truth and the sickening parts that he wished were lies, but were not. Despite all he had said, he knew it would still not be enough. He dared not think something as simple and coy as words could explain the twisting, feral complexities that defined his choices. Beleth was even more guarded than he, and he had learnt to distrust and despise in order to safeguard what little he had left. But it was now or never, and Goliath knew he would despise himself more if he did not at least try with abandon to make one other being understand him – one, in all the world. Would it be so ludicrous for there to be just one?

“I have done many terrible things. I have taken homes from families. I have killed those that deserved a second chance. I have coveted and sinned and stolen innocence. But the worst of it, the very worst thing I have done, was letting down those that looked upon me as a father. So there is your answer, dear Beleth.

Shame is what drove me away. And shame is what brought me back.”

//OOC//
Words: 1754
Tags: Beleth
Notes: So much pain *curls into ball and sobs*

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Last Edit: May 28, 2018 9:24:34 GMT -6 by Goliath